Holding On

“I’ve wasted all my tears. Wasted all those years. Nothing had the chance to be good. Nothing ever could, yeah… That’s all I have today. It’s all I have to say.”

Holding Back the Years, Simply Red

Sometimes, when setting up for photos, something will stir up a memory. The hat in this photo reminded me of the song I’m using in the title. I was 10 years old when the song was released, and there was something about the emotion in the lead singer Mike Hucknall’s vocals that always drove me to tears. Also, being smack dab at the beginning of the Mtv revolution, the video, for whatever reason, mirrored that emotion for me. There was never a particular reason for my tears, other than Hucknall sounded incredibly overwrought with raw emotion in each and every line.

Today, I can listen to and appreciate this song without the tears. Yet, there is still a wispy memory of that fuzzy feeling of sharing an emotion with someone you’ve never met, over a song you can’t begin to understand. Just knowing in the way that he is singing it, that it truly means something to him. I struggle now to find that in my daily life. The compassion, empathy and understanding of the unbridled emotions of a 10 year old me. Time has made me less sensitive, experiences have left me jaded. The concepts of being compassionate and understanding have been replaced with forced felicitations and aggressive acceptances.

But I keep holding onto the memory of 10 year old me.

*********************************************

  • Mahogany is Wearing:
    • Hair: Chara by Emotions (hat included)
    • Jewelry: Naomi Dream Catcher Hearts by Maxi Gossamer
    • Rings: Lovers Rings by Minimal
    • Outfit: Warm Me Up by American Bazaar @ Designer Showcase til TODAY!

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